The Light At The End Of the Tunnel Is Off…

Isn’t that life though.  Always something to worry about, always something to make you smile.

I guess our worries are all to do with DH job.  His disability and occasional absence is causing some concern with his boss.  The thing is the boss is basically a bully.  He keeps asking DH when he will be off the crutches, when will he have finished taking the painkillers.  I mean, how long is a piece of string for goodness sake !!!!!  Its actually going to be never, he’s had this problem for years, and though he’s had ops and treatments over the years the last 6 months have been bad.  In January hubby had a ‘light bulb’ moment that made him realise he’s disabled.  My DH job has always included occasional site visits, these went from being just a couple each month to 6 a month, and this was changed without consultation and at a time when my DH was signed off sick for a month.  When asked why he had changed to 6, his answer was ‘I just picked a number’.  He keeps asking if DH is capable of going out on site yet, is he healthy enough….this is something that Occ Health should be answering, or the boss determining once a Risk Assessment done…..but none of this is done.  Two months on from the first Absence interview when OH was recommended and the referral has finally gone off today.

DH is sick of being in pain, sick of being bullied, sick of the stress.  Unions are involved and hopefully this can be sorted.  The company doesn’t have a DDA policy in place and are using DH disability absences as a normal absence to be disciplined….that is against DDA law, but they don’t care.  DH has decided he has to file a grievance, but the HR dept told him he can’t just hand it in, that he has to speak to this boss, yeah right, boss won’t answer straight questions never mind talk turkey !!! 

DH has had advise today thou that he should be claiming against the company for the fall he had in December, as it was this that put him back on the crutches.  He’d actually started going without the stick occasionally too, but then the fall in the car park, because they hadn’t taken precautions for the employees, means he’s in more pain and problems than he has been for a while.  He hasn’t lost earnings, so its likely that if he does get any compensation its for pain and suffering….it should be pain, pain, pain, pain, stress, bullying, suffering, pain, pain !!!!

The good side of things.  DD has won a writing competition at school and we’ve been invited in to school to the assembly that will present the awards to the children that won. She is so clever.  She told me today that she did a piece of literacy in class this morning and the teacher read it out to the whole class because her imagination and writing was amazing.  So proud of her.

We’ve recently had a death in the family, another member had slight stroke, and DH told he needs major op.  I’ve been asked to work temporarily as Dinner Lady at school for the next four months, funding has been cut for music and dance that daughter goes to, a good friend has started cancer treatment……so all in all a very busy hectic month. 

Thing is, we have to keep going, its alright saying we are fed up, but we still have to cope with it all, still have to get through each day with as little fuss as possible.  The alarm still goes off and its time to get up, time to get breakfast and time to take DD to school.  Then if I want to sit and wallow for a while i can LOL, seriously though things are unsettled, but we are hanging in there !! 🙂

On Monday my sweet angel daughter said she wanted a family meeting, LOL, she reminded us that its the start of Lent tomorrow and that she wanted to give up sweets and what did we want to give up.  After quite a bit of discussion and the changing of minds here and there it was decided that as a family we would give up all sweets and crisps.

OH MY GOD what have I let myself in for.  I am a confirmed crisp-a-holic and although I have done this once before I at least had the fall back of a few sweets then.  I’m hoping that we will be able to lose a bit of weight doing this and it should mean we will be eating a bit healthier….just got to buy more fruit and yogurts and things…hope the housekeeping stretches to this.

I can’t believe its been a month since I posted here, the time has gone by so quickly with lots happening, sort of LOL.

I’ve had a couple of weeks where I have worried about my housekeeping being enough, but have managed to sort it out by putting things back on the shelf…and it worked.  We didn’t miss the items.

Tonight I had to get some Anti-biotics and I didn’t have to worry about how I was going to pay for it knowing that the money was in the bank.  In the past I would have wondered how I was going to pay for it, which card to use, etc.  Its scary not having too much money for things, but at the same time its such a relief knowing that we are in control again.

Well its going ok so far.  I make a monthly menu of whats for tea each night, thou its not set in stone, and each week I make a shopping list based on what I might need.  I’ve done this for years on and off so i know it will work but this time seems different, I think its because I know that there is no fall back if I overspend one week.

The last week of January was a bit scary as I wasn’t sure my housekeeping was going to last.  I had £35 left to do the Asda shop and though i bought a couple of things extra it was getting close to the £30 mark, I always over-estimate the cost of the veggie stuff cos its not priced in advance, with me putting it in bags.  Anyway I got to the till, convinced that I would need the ‘secret’ fiver thats hidden in my purse just in case.

As it turned out it came to £30.30 so ok all round.  I finished the month with a saving of £2 which has gone in the little savings pot that is money saved from end of each month.  So far so good.

After a discussion on the forum I decided to bite the bullet and apply for a NatWest e-Savings account.  We opened bank accounts with them when we first sorted out new accounts prior to the IVA set up.  Anyway, tonight i clicked the link for applying, all the information was already completed as per the info they had online….and two clicks later it tells me that I have been accepted and here is the account number …….WOW how good is that.

Highly recommend NatWest to anyone needing an account in an IVA.  thanks NW

Lets see where are we….

ah yes…..M (DH) has officially been recognised as Disabled with the issue of a Blue Badge, his work are being awkward, or rather his boss is.  He seems to think that all M has to do is say he wants a knee replacement and that it will happen overnight.  When we try to explain that its the NHS and consultants saying No he resorts to threats like ‘we’ll have to evaluate your job’ and ‘are you classed as disabled then?’

At that point we didn’t know, we both had some knowledge that there is a register for disabled but not what the exacts of it all are.  Anyway M decided to ring the council and ask.  They said that yes he is on their system as Disabled as he has the blue badge and has been listed to have adaptations.   Which currently amounts to a second hand-rail up the stairs. However, there hasn’t been a Register for the Disabled in 15 years ever since the DDA came into effect. So M went and told his boss who apparantly looked thunderstruck, we wonder if he was hoping to use this in some way.  Of course now its official M is a little more protected with DDA and Equalities acts.

So now we need to apply for DLA and hope that they accept him, if they do and he gets the higher rate we are going to use it to get a Motability car for him.

I don’t think it has fully hit yet that it is never ever going to get better and even if he did have a knee replacement he would still be very limited in his leg movements and abilities even though he wouldn’t be in that amount of pain anymore.  Things like walking to the park, possibly cycling, even simple things like walking round to the post office.  I’m hoping he doesn’t get too despondant with it.

Daughter is poorly at the moment, she had chest infection last week and today complained (for the first time ever) that she had a bit of headache, was gone by school time but when picked her up she looked shattered and said head was hurting again. She’s had some medicine and seemed much better by bedtime but of course we worry constantly about our children.

Christmas is always a busy month but this one seemed busier, though it could just be my imagination LOL.

I have to say though that I am very very proud of myself that Christmas was accomplished without credit.  I had gift vouchers, savings vouchers, Asda savings card and some cash.  We managed to get everything for everyone and hopefully decent gifts.  I still have some vouchers left too which will be used for birthday presents as we go in to 2011.  I’ve even managed to get a main present for my daughters birthday…………in JUNE!!!!!  Of course its hidden well.

We’ve had some expenses to pay out though, Cat needed vets because he stopped eating £25 later we were given a single tablet that I had to cut in four….the tablet, an Anti Depressant ????? Because it would supposedly increase his appetite.  After talking to my parents they suggested it might be a hairball, so we ended up spending another tenner at the pet shop to get some special paste….WHICH WORKED!!!  Silly vets, didn’t even ask that question.

Then… I pulled a filling out on a sweet which then cost me £16 to have an emergency filling which then turned into an Abcess causing me a lot of pain over christmas.

Then… the car alternator needed replacing, after a lot of talking about it and realising with Hubby’s disability that he can’t get under the car to do the job anymore we took it in to a local alternator garage which cost £120.

I am so so glad we saved the money we didn’t pay over for the three months in setting up the IVA, without it we would have been up that creek….

So the next payment is due in three weeks and we are official IVAers, I’m quite proud of the fact that we are doing well so far, I know its early days but I am positive about it all.

Just need hubby’s work to accept his disability without making threats about ‘reviewing the work he does’ scary stuff…..watch this space.

I was so excited on Tuesday I never even got chance to come on here and let you all know our IVA was accepted and approved with only IP modifications.

So pleased to finally be on the right path and heading towards a debt free future.

I’ve kept busy again today with one thing and another, think I could honestly say thank goodness for christmas, if this was any other time of year I’d probably have time on my hands and be worrying non stop.

Every time I do stop to think about what is happening tomorrow my tummy lurches and i get panicky. I’ve no idea if I’ll sleep tonight, though my sis, bless her, says she prob won’t sleep on my behalf. Thank lil sis. xx

It officially 14th now, and time to go to bed

…My stomach is churning and I feel sick, when I look at it as days it makes me feel sick.  I can’t even think about it as I don’t know what to think about.  I can’t even conceive of what the next move would be if the proposal is rejected.

Its not really even two days, more like 36 hours till the first meeting time. 

I’ve tried to stay busy and for the most part have succeeded.  Am at home all day tomorrow and have a list a mile long of stuff to get done for Christmas and school, will work my way though it and keep as busy if I can.  Oh well, on with the list of before bed stuff.